I consider it one of my personal missions to get people to eat vegetables they think they don’t like. Working in a restaurant, I can’t count how many grown adults scrunch their faces up like 4-year-olds when I recite specials that include Brussels sprouts. Or, for that matter, sweet potatoes, rutabagas, beets, turnips, or parsnips (you don’t know if you don’t like rutabagas. You’ve never even eaten a rutabaga. Please.) I insist that they simply have not eaten a properly prepared Brussels sprout. Or sweet potato, rutabaga, beet, turnip, parsnip, or what have you. Usually, I win, by offering up a rather parent-child deal; I’ll bring you the Brussels sprouts, and if you don’t like them, I’ll bring you another side of broccoli or green beans or whatever we have lying around.
I remember the first time I had a Brussels sprout. I was around 13 or so, and I saw them at the grocery store; I thought they were so cute that I insisted my mother buy them. She looked at me and said "you won’t like them," (this, from the woman who made me eat liver) but she bought them anyway. And I didn’t like them. I’m not saying that she didn’t prepare them well, because I truthfully can’t remember how they were done, but I’m guessing over-boiled (no offense, mom). So I went for about another 7 years or so, thinking I didn’t like Brussels sprouts, until I was working in a restaurant who offered them as a special one evening.
I have always been willing to eat anything once, or maybe twice, and these were covered in Hollandaise sauce, so I figured I may as well give them another chance. Oh! How delicious they were! The Hollandaise may have entered into the equation a bit, but at least it got me to rediscover them.
And so, I encourage you, legions of wary vegetable eaters, to try to give the Brussels Sprout another chance. If you live anywhere with seasons, I’m willing to bet they're one of the few decent vegetables you can purchase right now, anyway.
Perfect Brussels Sprouts
1 pound Brussels Sprouts
4 strips good quality, thickly sliced slab bacon
1 medium-sized red onion, medium dice
½ ounce decent balsamic vinegar
2 ounces decent white wine, whatever’s leftover in the fridge. Today it was Leitz Riesling
salt
pepper
2 Tbsp butter (optional)
Slice your bacon into 1/4" strips, or "lardons," if you’re a stickler for correctness, and saute them on medium heat until lightly browned and crisp. Remove with a slotted spoon and drain on paper towels. Don’t even THINK of throwing away all that lovely bacon fat. Shame on you. Add your onions to the pan and saute a few seconds to let them absorb some of the fat. Deglaze the pan with the balsamic vinegar and stir into the onions. When the pan is back up to medium heat, deglaze a second time with the white wine. Season lightly with salt and pepper, and turn the heat down to just a hair above low to allow the onions to caramelize. I usually do this first, and let the onions hang out until I am almost finished cooking whatever else I’m cooking for dinner, but I would say about 10-12 minutes, at least.
Meanwhile, bring a small amount of water to a boil in a pan that has a steamer to fit in.
To prepare Brussels sprouts: peel the outer, tough leaves (usually just one from each side) away. Trim just the very tip of the sprout, where it was cut away from the stalk and has probably browned. Don’t trim too far, because you want the head to remain intact. Cut each sprout in half, from stem to tip. If you have some large sprouts, you might want to quarter them so that they all end up about the same size. Throw the sprouts in the steamer and steam, covered, making sure that the vegetables are not touching the water, for 5 minutes. Remove from heat and set aside until you are about ready to get dinner on the table.
To assemble: turn the heat on the onions up to just above medium and add the sprouts. If you want to be picky, you can place the sprouts in, cut side down, so that the edges can caramelize nicely. Let them sit for about a minute or so and then add your bacon back to the pan. Toss around just to re-heat and coat the sprouts with the oniony-bacony goodness. If you wish, you can throw in the butter, which will help everything stick together. My pot belly doesn’t need the extra butter, so I leave that out unless company is coming over; their pot bellies, apparently, do need the butter. Season with salt and pepper and there you have it. The best brussels sprouts ever. And here you thought you didn’t like them.
A note for vegetarians and non-drinkers: Of course you can omit the bacon. Saute your onions in a little olive oil and butter, and use just a little more balsamic vinegar for more depth. If you do not drink or just don’t have any wine lying around, substitute any kind of stock for the deglazing.
Serves 4
