Since it has become apparent that I will not be getting my pictures anytime soon (the pictures to the left have been shamelessly borrowed from their website), I'll just go ahead and do the write-up and add pictures later. I am not sure how the pictures turned out anyway. . .
Handke's, a venerable institution in the Brewery District, is always on everyone's "best of" list; Hartmut Handke is, after all, Columbus' only master chef, and he recently had a good showing at the Bocuse d'Or (he won the meat competition). He also has a reputation, primarily among those of us in the restaurant industry, for being cheap, moody, and impossible to work for. There are probably more Handke legends going around than all other top chefs in Columbus combined. Unfortunately, as I mentioned before, Husband and I had a little problem when we tried to go there a few years ago: it was a Friday night at about 6:30 or 7, and we went in and stood at the hostess stand. And stood, and stood, for about 10 minutes, but alas, no one came. We left, and our disappointment has lingered ever since. This hasn't stopped me from wanting to try it again, and so I did while Husband was eating all manner of pork products in the Piedmont.
Husband du jour was my friend and coworker JOSH (there's your big mention), who performed his duties exceptionally - down to finishing my dinner and carrying all of my money, credit card, license, and yes, even lip gloss, when we went dancing after dinner. Unlike Husband, however, he didn't object when other boys bought me drinks. Thanks Josh! Also along were a few more friends from work.
The big objection I have always had about Handke's is that their menu seems a little boring, filled with a few flair-added German standards, and then all of the basic nice dinner cop-outs - fillet of beef, chicken breast, etc. I kept hearing so many good things about it, though, that I felt I had to give it a chance, and for the most part, I was pleased, although still a little disappointed, because it could be so much better.
Handke's setting is bar none the most original in Columbus. Located underground in an old brewery, you feel like you are in a cave, with the stone walls and low ceilings. The ground floor of the restaurant is used only for catering, which is sad because they have a nice bar up there that is never put to use. This means that you have to arrive for dinner and go straight to your table and have your pre-dinner cocktails there. Fortunately, our server did not push us to order and was perfectly understanding that we wanted to have an aperitif and then some champagne before dinner. (This might explain some lapses in my menu memorization.) The menus, including the Captain's wine list, are printed on plain, flimsy copier paper. I just thought I would mention that because it seemd unbelievably tacky. For some reason, it's okay when Alana does it. Maybe because she then attaches it to a piece of handmade flower and seed paper?
I am pleased to announce that Handke's offers Lillet. Go forth and have aperitifs. That brings the number of restaurants carrying it to 4, that I know of: Alana's, the Burgundy Room, Handke's, and the Refectory. After the round of Lillet, it was up to me to choose the champagne. My first instinct was to opt for the Pol Roger cuvee Winston Churchill, as it is my favorite and I was feeling a little slighted by the knowledge that Husband was being wined and dined, and I did have his credit card, after all (buying a $190 bottle of champagne to irritate him wouldn't have really had the desired impact, since I pay the bills and would actively have to point out how I had offended him). The next choice was the standard Pol Roger, still a great bottle, and a little more accessible at $70; however, I chose the Schramsburg ($40). This turned out to be a mistake, as it had a fishy aroma and was sent back (I guess this is a common fault with Pinot Noir based champagnes, Schramsburg in particular). We ended up going back to the $70 Pol Roger, with the understanding that we would have the $28 Rothschild Chilean Cabernet, which my date ridiculed me for ordering. The server was extremely gracious when we declined the Schramsburg. When she returned to the table, she had tasted it and agreed with our assessment.
Amuses were sent to the table (surely standard, as I don't know anyone who works there), a nice little chicken liver terrine on toast points. Appetizers included pan-seared foie gras, house made smoked salmon, and Country Pate. The pate was very well executed; full of flavor with a proper fat to meat ratio, and best of all, no scary bits of bone or unchewable fat particles. I was disappointed only in the absence of pickles, mustard, and onions - I like to have something acidic to cut through the fatty richness of the pate, especially since we had not yet moved on to red wine. The smoked salmon was incredible, we were all fighting over it. It was clearly very fresh and high quality salmon, not over smoked, still having a nice moistness and sweet flavor. The foie gras left a little - okay, a lot, to be desired. From the proper preparation of the terrine, pate, and smoked salmon, I expected the foie gras to be nicely done as well. I fear that a non-foie-gras-eating apprentice might have prepared it, though, as it was filled with scary bits of vein and other undesirables. Alas, I cannot even revisit the Refectory to have their foie gras torchon, as they have taken the cold preparation off their menu!
For the salad course, I had to be tacky and order the ancient (this is what I ordered with my boyfriend when I went at 16, followed by chicken breast. Probably the last time I ordered chicken in a restaurant before Basi Italia came along) Caesar salad in Parmesan basket, with smoked salmon roulade on the side. The main star here is the parm basket, which I know is quite easy to make, but honestly would I? Also nice is the smoked salmon roulade, chopped salmon mixed with horseradish and maybe white anchovies. Others at the table had the cream of white asparagus soup, which tasted precisely how it sounds, no surprises; the chilled peach soup, fine but too sweet for dinner; and the tomato caprese, which the orderer felt was the biggest disappointment of the course - it was not made with buffalo mozzarella, which one would expect here, and had little flavor. It is clear that care was not taken to get in really great local tomatoes, even though they are starting to arrive. He was consoled when I fed him the rest of my Parmesan basket.
Okay, finally - entrees! Because I love duck, and judge everyone by their duck preparation, I had to have the Duck Bocuse d'Or, three ways. The three ways being a sauteed breast - sliced into only 3 pieces, but the fat having been removed and a very nice herb rub on the outside making up for the continued knife usage; a confit leg, which was fine, but I have tasted better - I don't know if it had been over-cured beforehand, or if it was overcooked (or recooked), but it was very dry, something you don't expect with confit; third was a very nice duck sausage on sauerkraut. I felt that the sauerkraut overpowered everything else, even being German, but it was house-made (I pity the poor apprentice who has to stir that) and still well-done. Other diners had the strip steak special, which was good but not particularly interesting, and a special of the evening, oven-braised (read: way overdone and incorrectly prepared) fillet of beef. Although the server took a temperature (which puzzled me, being braised), the fillet arrived looking completely overdone and tasting strangely of liver. My favorite entree was another diner's buffalo fillet, which was an incredibly fresh and perfectly cooked cut of meat.
What was absolutely unforgivable at Handke's were the desserts. A chocolate souffle arrived, nicely presented, fresh from the oven, by the server, who deflated its top and filled it with creme anglaise. The souffle had no chocolate flavor whatsoever, and tasted only of the egg whites used for loft. Second was something called "raspberry grits," which the server rather hesitantly described as being raspberries with tapioca - really just a glorified gelatin dessert with gritty bits of raspberry seeds and no discernable tapioca balls.
I feel I should reiterate the fact that our server was really very good, because good service is hard to come by. She was very accomadating and gracious, even if we got a little rowdy and restless towards the end of dinner (I know we sound like a bunch of 8-year-olds). I am sure she is used to the much older and staid clientele, like the table sitting next to us, visably blushing but trying not to eavesdrop on our inappropriate dinner conversation.
A lawyer friend of mine is a friend of Handke's, and is always telling us that we should go in with him. I like to get the plebe experience first, but I think that I might take him up on this offer in the future, because then I might get a taste of everything that Handke does really well, and be spared the things that are off. Be prepared to spend about $75 per person, including wine and 3 courses, and don't expect to be impressed with the wine list. If you want great food and an extensive, interesting, and well-chosen wine list is really important to you, go to the Refectory to spend a lot, or the Burgundy Room to spend a moderate amount.
Grade: C I just can't forgive the foie gras and desserts in a restaurant of this supposed caliber.
Info: Handke's Cuisine 520 South Front Street Columbus. 614.621.2500 Free valet parking.
