Dear Bravo,
In a sea of horrid food-related programming and even worse reality television, you have managed to find, in Katie Lee Joel, the worst of the vacuous, idiotic, stupefyingly boring and completely uninteresting hostesses to date. Congratulations.
I would like to offer myself as a candidate. I promise to provide witty and snide comments for all. I will happily berate the efforts of second-rate chef wannabees and challenge Stephen Asprinio on all of his wine pairings. I promise to ridicule misguided ingredient pairings and over the top seasoning choices. I promise to laugh mightily at the artless and over-arty plate presentations.
In exchange for the job, along with medical, dental and a nice little chunk of change, I promise to lose enough weight to look good in all of the revealing dresses you have previously filled with Ms. Joel.
Sincerely,
Lisa
For readers: Click to read Katie Lee Joel's website, Olive and Peach. It was, after all, orchestrated by the god Epicurus himself. Her words, or course, not mine. Here's the recipe for her signature dish, as seen on everyone's favorite cooking show Extra!, Cornflake Crusted Halibut. The funniest thing about this is Extra revealing the secret to making this great - pulverise the cornflakes! Folks, I couldn't make this stuff up if I tried.
