I've decided, for reasons unknown, that the emu shall henceforth be the symbol for existential uncertainty. I have an English degree, and feel justified in my ability to rule on symbolism.
First of all, this post is far more personal than most things I write here, so you may discontinue reading if you'd like. Please rest assurred that after this, I won't be taking myself so seriously. Secondly, I am not fishing for compliments. I just thought I'd let you in on some of my thoughts and the funny things which have happened throughout the year.
Looking back on 2008, I would have to say that it was a great year for getting out there, having dinners, meeting a lot of readers, doing a few public speaking engagements and the like; however, it was bad for writing. I was lazy. I didn't search out great new gems. I hardly documented any recipes, it was just a little blah. So I am sorry for that. We're going to work on that this year.
In 2008, I learned that it is best for me to stay off of message boards. I get testy when people call me names and trash my writing or ethics. I also shared an opinion about a local restaurant from a local restaurant group and got a phone call wherein I was given an earful by this restaurant group's livid PR person (insert eye roll here).
In a 48 hour period, I was taken to task for writing without ethics by one person, and had my loyalty questioned because someone else left me a $25 tip in my tip jar, and that was supposed to secure my loyalty to their restaurant group, no matter how I felt about it.
These events led to one or two of the aforementioned meltdowns.
Another meltdown occurred when I talked to a restaurant reviewer who told me she made so much money at her parttime reviewing gig, she had thought about quitting her day job. (I will admit to being completely green with envy - anyone who wouldn't is lying.)
Then I decided to accept advertising. I am a pretty terrible salesperson, so lately I've been having a meltdown relating to my inability to sell said advertising or get sponsorship of any kind (I would accept good knives and induction burners, for starters).
I accepted donations to be sent to the Bocuse d'Or - as the ONLY person from Columbus covering the event, I might add, and was taken to task for that.
Someone suggested that restaurant owners buy my good reviews. At the same time someone else said my opinions were meaningless.
I have been called the following things this year: crass, fat, arrogant, unethical, snarky, a sellout, selfish, big-headed, a loose cannon, an idiot who sits around in their underpants writing mean things about big evil corporate restaurant empires, and a few things I'm too polite to write here.
On the positive side, I've also been called a one-woman Columbus visitor's bureau and Columbus Chamber of commerce. I've gotten lots of positive feedback, including a few notes so amazingly nice from people I don't even know that I cried (thanks Lois!). I'm also going to include snarky here, because I consider that a compliment.
I learned that I don't work well with others, and I'm old enough to accept that fact and warn people about it before we go ahead. I don't have the energy to drive my point home when trying to get Luddites to accept new ideas. And I only get so bitter when they "think" of these new ideas on their own, later.
Something I've been struggling with lately is the idea of getting paid. Allow me to explain. Print media is (are) struggling, big time. People seem to get very testy about bloggers accepting advertising or anything for free, even though print media relies almost entirely on advertising dollars. Print journalists are "real journalists," and bloggers aren't. It's okay if print journalists are paid for their work, but accept some donations from restaurants and your readers to cover a major culinary event for the city of Columbus, and you're a greedy sellout.
A few new magazines are launching this upcoming year in the city. One of these magazines asked me if I might consider writing about food for them, for free. While I am flattered they would think of me, consider this: they have enough startup money to hire a staff, they are selling enough advertising to pay this staff in the future and allow the magazine to be distributed for free. Their projected monthly distribution is about 20% less than my monthly unique readers. (insert frustration-related tantrum here)
Our Visitor's Bureau has over 20 employees who are paid to discover great events and things to do in Columbus and beyond.
I hope you can understand where some of this frustration stems from.
Needless to say, I decided that I owe my time and efforts to you, my readers. If I'm going to spend any of my time writing for free, it's going to be for YOU, of course.
I know I have at least a few readers who think I'm cheapening myself when I start to talk (read: whine) about how I don't get paid to write, but I think it's fair to share these things with you.
The main reason I wanted to share these things with you is because of my work situation, and how it has been interfering with my blogging situation over the past month. I consider Restaurant Widow my number one priority. I love writing about food and taking pictures of vegetables and talking about food and sharing new finds with you and everything about it. If I could do it full-time, I would probably post about 3 times a day, no lie. I am constantly thinking about the next thing to write about. I will freely admit that I am super jealous of people who don't have to work and can spend all of their time writing.
Since the beginning of December, I've been working 2 jobs to the amount of just over full time; while the extra money, and lack of time to spend it, has been nice, this schedule has really interfered with my ability to stay in touch with my readers, but I am going to stick with it until May. May is the start of the growing season and the most exciting time of the year. It is my hope to start saving up money so that in May, I will be able to go back down to working 30 hours a week. As I've mentioned before, I plan to have Saturdays off during the summer (sorry, Mr. Katz!!), something I've dreamed of since I started this website.
It is my hope, beginning this summer, to begin offering farm market tours, educational seminars on things such as preserving food, transitioning into local eating, etc, and to start a series of cooking classes. Some of these things will be free, and some will have a reasonable fee. I am hoping to spend some of my time generating a small amount of income completely related to the vision I have here at RW.
I hope you will stick with me through the next year and beyond. Here's to 2009 being better than ever!
XOXOXOXO,
Lisa the Waitress
