In Which Lisa Begins Composting!
One of my favorite places in the world is Costco. I know, I know. It kind of goes against my "local is best" philosophy - however, I will say that their employees seem pretty happy, considering the majority of the whiny customers in line today, ugh - I can't explain it, but I love it. I think it might have something to do with my hoarding personality - just seeing packets of 25 G2s, 6 scissors, 4 pound bags if tortilla chips, and 250 Flav-R-Ices (Husband nags me nonstop unless we have these in stock, in the freezer, all summer long) makes me think everything is going to be okay.
It is a little strange to drive into the parking lot of Costco; I tried to explain it to Husband before we went the first time. And then he got it the first time he went. It is full, and I mean full of SUVs and Minivans. This might be why everyone in line was complaining that they couldn't use cash at the pumps. (And I'll say something here, as a complement to Costco: this remarkably irritating woman was in the line next to me complaining about how she couldn't use cash at the pumps - she had to come into the store, stand in line, and purchase a gift card. The lines were a little long, so I got to listen to her complain for about 7 minutes straight. This gets ice-pick-in-the-eardrum maddening after about 2 minutes. At any rate, the cashier assisting her explained that she could have used her debit card (which she was using to purchase they gift card), and he went on to explain why they didn't take cash, and he completely diffused this woman, to the point where she laughed and said she understood, and she would remember for the next time that she could use her debit card, etc. That boy deserves a raise; it was a very good example of de-escalating a situation. My old bosses at Giant Apparel Producer would be very happy with you. Good job)
98% of the shoppers at Costco have minivans & SUVs. The other 1.99% have a Lexus, and then there are the rare people like me. Husband and I have one car: a Honda Civic 2 door (I think it was the first new car of everyone in my age bracket, but I digress).
So. I'm strolling through Costco. We just got our tax return, so unlike my usual trips to Costco, I didn't have to stand there analyzing every $10 purchase (they add up fast). Well, I was, but not as much as I usually am. At any rate, it suddenly occurred to me that they might, might have a composter. I turned slightly from the my place ogling the brand new brushed-stainless 11 cup Cuisinart food processors and lo, there it was, a composter. A 170 gallon composter, for $55!!! I ran to find one of those flat-bed cart thingies and loaded the giant box on.
I was standing in line, flirting with the cute boy who was unloading my groceries (don't worry, Husband, he was like 18 - and I was probably the only nice person he'd encountered all day long.), when it began to occur to me that this box would probably not fit in the trunk of our tiny little Civic. I guess we'll find out in a few minutes, I said to Miguel, and we had a little laugh.
And so a few minutes later I was standing before the trunk. I unloaded the wine crate which holds CDs, the wine crate of sweaters and mittens which has been in the trunk since 2003, and the little old lady cart which sometimes helps me during sweet corn season at the farmer's Market. I put all of my groceries into the front seat, and, determined, confronted the composter box. After quite a bit of finagling and perhaps a few words which cannot be reprinted here, I did it. I loaded it in with all of the finesse of a girl who went through college with a 1981 Volkswagon Rabbit. Skill beyond skill, using all powers of geometry, in it went! Wine crates were loaded on top, and still, the trunk closed! I actually gave myself a little fist-in-the-air shake of congratulations, probably making the suburban moms who shop Costco in heels wonder if perhaps I were crazy.
All of that to say, we are now composting! Husband mowed the grass today (and even with our tiny yard, with all of the rain we've been having lately, it's a lot of grass) and we padded the bottom of the composter with grass clippings, stick bits, and maple helicoptors. Then, we were grilling out, so I had lots of kitchen scraps to add, and there we have it! Our first bit of whatnot in the composter! In about 6 weeks or however long it takes, I'll give you an update when we have our first batch of lucious black gold.
